I must say this story is amazing. When I started reading, my imagination instantly went to the world that you set. I saw Drien getting beat. I saw Drien and Bikendi giving those "looks" in my head. It takes something special to be able to bring people into your world. The only changes I would make is little things. Like one part of the story goes, "He deflated and said, "No. I just haven't been myself lately." In my mind, from the books I've read, that part would have gone, " He deflated, "No. I just.." ect. It's a small thing from such a wonderful piece and nothing to scoff at. Just a few "spelling" things I would have changed. Amazing job though. It's always awesome to see the author being able to bring the readers into the author's worlds. Well done!